Christian Phone Sex

exploring the ideas of: 1) god as technology: as a tool that is accessible and empowering in our everyday life

2) technology as god: the idea that it is the key to transformation and a new mode of existence. It is, however, shaped ultimately by reactionary thought or can at least be used as a tool of control. Obviously the christian "counseling" line is but one such example.

"Phonesex" also forces christians to confront the inherent contradictions of their belief system and its various "negative dialectics" (unresolvable contradictions) they get to stare into the void of the negative dialectic for possibly the only time in their pathetic lives.....

We had alot of sick fun making and recording these calls. I was the first guinnea pig. Late one friday night during the early part of '95, I called a christian counseling line pretending to be a depressed christian college student who had intentionally taken an overdose of sleeping pills with the ultimate goal of being with the lord in the long-promised afterlife. The guy on the other end was genuinely concerned and felt that I should wait for god to take me instead of the do-it-yourself method. We ended up calling the guy back because he reminded us of Ned Flanders from The Simpsons. His concern was so very sincere that we waited for an hour and called back to tell him that his prayers had saved the suicidal teen. I think we may have been getting soft here!!

This was not the case with Steve's call. Steve painted the most disturbing images of the entire album, pretending to be a straight upright christian man who had contracted AIDS from a blood transfusion. He was seeking to do god's work by giving AIDS to a gay man that he had picked up in a bar. I think this call was an offshoot of an earlier experiment, when Steve had called a christian line as a gay teen looking for guidance...of course he was told that he was a sinner and made to feel like shit...... This guy was just as bad , if not worse, his advice to Steve's character (Otis) was that he should allow the gay man to be punished by god for his sins......We didn't bother calling this asshole back to make him feel good.......

Roxanne's call also didn't warrant a call back , that's because the woman that she manipulated (Sylvia) , spazzed out and went into speaking-in -toungues mode. This we found to be very intriguing. Roxanne played an abused wife whose husband had raped her and knocked her up so that he'd have a little daughter to fuck. Sylvia was considering an abortion but of course was counseled to endure the hardship for god. "god has a purpose and a plan in your life" sylvia was told.

What we learned from this experiment with the christian "tribe" members was the following:

  1. God is an unapproachable diety. You cannot initiate contact with it in its own territory (the afterlife) unless it chooses to be in contact either you. Pretty bizzare behavior for a being that is supposed to transcend time and space!!
  2. God really hates gay people. they are sinners that have to be punished.
  3. God feels that you must endure pain at all costs. You cannot intervene. If you choose to take action to escape pain YOU ARE GOING AGAINST GOD'S WILL!!

OK, so maybe none of these findings were particularly astounding. But it was certainly nice to make thes christians stare into the void of their condraditory set of beliefs....probably for the only time in their pathetic lives. And, as usual, we had fun doing it (the ultimate goal). We look at this as expanding our audience as well. Fuck preaching to the converted!!

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